The moon continues her descent, her light thinning as the darkness begins to overtake her. This week we follow her deeper into the shadows, exploring two forces that shape our lives in profound, unseen ways: fear and desire. These twin energies—one pulling us back, the other pulling us forward—often work in ways we don’t fully understand. Fear stops us, keeps us safe, protects us from imagined dangers. Desire drives us, but often toward what we fear to admit we truly want. Between these two, our shadow holds its secrets, waiting for us to look deeper.
This is the week of The Depths. Here, we confront what we crave but are afraid to name, and what we fear but are afraid to release. These forces are not opposites—they are mirrors of each other, tangled together in ways that can obscure the truth of what we really want, or what we’re really avoiding. How often does fear disguise itself as wisdom? How often does desire mask its true shape behind guilt or shame? This week is an invitation to untangle them, to dive into the depths and ask yourself: What am I really afraid of? And what do I really long for?
Thoth, the keeper of wisdom, guides us here with his sharp clarity. He invites us to name these feelings plainly, without the excuses we usually wrap around them. Desire is not shameful. Fear is not weakness. Thoth records these truths impartially, showing us that owning them gives us power over their hold.
Khonsu stands by, his light faint but steady, as we wade into the tension between fear and longing. His presence reminds us that both forces have their purpose: fear keeps us alive; desire keeps us moving forward. To navigate the depths is not to destroy one or the other, but to understand their dance.
Guiding Questions
This week’s questions are for exploring the deep, tangled currents of fear and desire within you. They are not simple to answer—but sit with them, let them sink into your awareness, and see what arises in the quiet spaces between thought.
1. What do you desire but have been too afraid to name? Consider something you long for—an ambition, a relationship, an experience—that feels dangerous to admit, even to yourself. Why does this desire feel unsafe? What would happen if you allowed yourself to want it fully?
2. What is your greatest fear, and how does it shape your life? Identify a fear that stops you, a fear that has dictated your choices. Is this fear still serving you, or is it holding you back? How would your life change if this fear had no power over you?
3. How do fear and desire intertwine for you? Notice the places where fear and desire seem to pull at the same thread. What do you long for that also terrifies you? What scares you that might also contain a hidden longing?
These questions are meant to pull you into the depths of your own psyche. They will likely feel uncomfortable—this is where the shadow thrives, in the liminal space where fear and desire meet. Let the moon’s waning light guide you; her dim glow is enough to see by.
Ritual: Descending into the Depths
This ritual is meant to help you sit with the dual forces of fear and desire, to feel their tension without rushing to resolve it. The goal is not to make them disappear, but to understand their shapes and how they move through you.
What You’ll Need:
• A candle (preferably dark-colored, like black, blue, or deep red).
• A quiet space where you can sit undisturbed.
• Two small pieces of paper and a pen.
1. Set the Scene:
Choose a night when the world feels still, when the moon’s fading light is just enough to soften the edges of the room. Light the candle and place it in front of you, its flame the only source of light. Let this single flame represent both your fear and your desire—two forces bound together, inseparable.
2. Name Your Fear:
Take one piece of paper and write down a fear that has been shaping your life. Be as specific as possible. What are you afraid of losing? What are you afraid will happen if you fail or let go of control? Let this fear flow onto the paper, no matter how irrational or raw it feels.
3. Name Your Desire:
On the second piece of paper, write down a secret or unspoken desire—something you’ve longed for but have been too afraid to admit. What is it you truly want, but feel you shouldn’t? Let yourself name it honestly, without judgment.
4. Sit with the Flame:
Hold both pieces of paper in your hands, one in each. Look into the candle’s flame and imagine it as the meeting point between your fear and desire. Feel their tension: how fear tries to keep you safe, and how desire pushes you into the unknown. Let yourself feel both forces fully, their pull in opposite directions. Neither is wrong; neither is right. They simply exist.
5. Release One:
When you’re ready, decide which piece of paper you feel ready to release. Maybe it’s the fear that has been holding you back, or maybe it’s the desire that you’re not yet ready to pursue. Burn the paper in the candle’s flame, watching as the fire consumes it. Imagine Thoth recording what you’ve chosen to release, and Khonsu standing by as a witness to the offering.
6. Keep the Other:
Keep the remaining piece of paper with you this week. Place it somewhere meaningful—a journal, your pocket, or under your pillow. This is the force you’ve chosen to hold onto for now, to work with and understand further.
When the ritual is complete, extinguish the candle and sit in silence. Feel the space you’ve created within yourself by naming these truths.
Reflection:
The moon’s waning light this week reminds us that not everything can be held at once. Fear and desire are both vital forces, but sometimes we must let one go in order to move forward. Thoth helps us name these truths, while Khonsu holds the space for the inevitable tension between them.
Fear often protects us, but it can also cage us. Desire propels us, but it can overwhelm us if left unchecked. The shadow thrives where these two forces meet, hiding truths we’re afraid to face. By sitting with them this week, by naming and releasing, you are reclaiming your agency over these deep forces within you.
Let the moon’s descent guide you further into the depths, knowing that even here, you are not lost. Fear and desire are not enemies; they are parts of you. And by understanding them, you take one step closer to wholeness.
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